Spiritual formation begins in the heart. We can put all our effort into being kind, showing patience and acting as we think a Christian should, but if we haven’t experienced transformation in our hearts first, our actions will fall short. Typically, our hearts reach their limits when we find ourselves anxious, stressed, angry or stretched too thin. Alternatively, when we’re completely relaxed and let our façade down, the true content of our hearts shows.

While we should be aware of the loyalties of our hearts—whether Jesus is truly our King or just one of many—more often than not we live in a state of unawareness. This is where the gift of “Why?” comes in. Not, “Why did that person act that way?”, but “Why did I respond that way?” “Why was that my initial reaction?” “Why am I having a hard time with that person?” It’s a question about ourselves, not about the other person. There is great power in asking “Why?” and asking it again and again until we get to the root of it—the state of our hearts.

One Sunday morning, as I was praying over my message, I heard God whisper to my soul, “Don’t use your notes.” That did not sound like a good idea to me. Surely, I heard Him wrong. “What are you afraid of?” He asked. “I’m afraid of messing up,” I replied. “Why?” He asked. “Because I am afraid of looking like a fool,” I admitted. Ah, there was the root of it. My heart was loyal to Jesus until it looked like I might be incompetent, or my reputation might suffer. With a deep breath, I said, “Okay, God. I am willing to look like a fool for You.”

In this case, the “why” was a direct conversation with the Lord. But just as often, it can be a conversation with our hearts, aided by the Holy Spirit. When I am being short and snappy with my husband, I ask myself, “Why?” Is it really because of him, or is it because I am stressed about something at work? If it’s because I am stressed about something at work, why? Am I worried about what other people will think? Am I frustrated with my shortcomings? Then I ask again, “Why?” Who am I trying to prove myself to? And why do I have to prove myself if God already says I am chosen, holy and dearly loved? When we ask the “why” honestly and in partnership with the Lord, we begin to see the true of state of our hearts. It’s then that we can identify what needs to be surrendered so that we might fully live with a transformed heart.

The Simple Life

• Feelings are a good place to start. Why are you happy? Why are you angry? Keep asking “Why?” until you get to the core identity elements.
• Practice asking “Why?” in little things so that it becomes easier to practice in the big things. 

Supporting Scripture

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

Psalm 139:23

This article was originally titled “The Gift of ‘Why?'” in the February 2025 issue of The War Cry.